Bedtime routine anything but, especially when I’m home alone


Bed time routines differ from house to house, parent to parent, and most importantly, child to child but make no mistake — parents will do whatever it takes to get their little monsters angels to sleep.

Last night, Wifester had to work late due to some meetings and I was riding solo. Here’s a breakdown of how it goes — or doesn’t go — when I am in charge of putting them both to bed. Times used are typical bedtime routing times. Last night, G went to sleep on-time while Unit’s routine was pushed back about an hour.

G’s bedtime routine:

  • 6:30pm — bath time in an attempt to quell his screaming fit that began at 6:15pm
  • 6:45pm — transition to bedtime (diaper, dress, wrap him in sleep sack, turn on Sleep Sheep)
  • 7:00pm — commence 5 oz. of bottle feeding
  • 7:03pm — crying due to me having to readjust nipple of bottle due to rapid, vigorous consumption
  • 7:07pm — crying due to me having to readjust nipple of bottle due to rapid, vigorous consumption
  • 7:11pm — crying due to me having to readjust nipple of bottle due to rapid, vigorous consumption
  • 7:16pm — remove empty bottle
  • 7:16:15pm — crying once he realized bottle was gone, even though he was asleep
  • 7:17pm — giant burp
  • 7:18pm — rock, rock, rock into a deep sleep
  • 7:26pm — lay G$$ in crib, reset Sleep Sheep
  • 7:27pm — tip-toe out the door

Unit’s bedtime routine:

  • 7:15pm — Disney Junior, reading, and/or train tracks while I am put G to bed
  • 7:45pm — Unit brushes his teeth, then I properly brush them
  • 7:47pm — put diaper and pajama bottoms on (he sleeps topless)
  • 7:48pm — gets in bed, picks out books (Tap Tap Bang Bang, Hooray for Fish!)
  • 7:49pm — read TTBB
  • 7:50pm — read HFF!
  • 7:52pm — commence singing songs (Wheels on the Bus, Pop Goes the Weasel, Train Gate song, Sucker Punch song, etc.)
  • 7:59pm — “Why is the light outside on?,” “What are you gonna do out there?,” “Is Graham sleeping?,” “What is Nate doing?,” as well as a myriad of other questions in an attempt to delay going to sleep
  • 8:04pm — I ask him what time he’s going to wake up, to which his response is always “6:22:51.” (for the record, he usually wakes up at 6:02am)
  • 8:05pm — quietly walk out the door, tell him “I love you,” and pray the floor doesn’t creak or risk waking up…


An outburst ensues as I tiptoe down the hall to the “safety” of the living room to watch some baseball or Discovery Channel (on mute) as I allow the monsters angels settle into sleep. G has a few more outbursts but nothing that requires me to go in and soothe him. I crack open a Thomas Hooker Watermelon Ale and settle in.

Until last night at about 9:45pm, when he decides he wants to eat again as an exhausted Wifester reluctantly goes in and feeds him for 15 minutes. Around 10:05pm, he once again decides he wants to cry, so we resort to hiding out in the kitchen until the storm passes, last night it took around 15 minutes of him crying though it sounded like he couldn’t even muster up the energy to actually cry, he was just doing it out of spite.

He sleeps through the night but ultimately, as is typically the case when he eats after 7:00pm, he pees through his outfit.

Besides being a prisoner in my own home for a bit, it went pretty smooth. How’d your night go?

2 thoughts on “Bedtime routine anything but, especially when I’m home alone

  1. Looks like you have a pretty good routine, Ryan. We have found that routine is an absolute necessity not only for our two little ones, but for the two of us as well. Knowing that they will both be down by XX o’clock makes the rest of the night a bit more relaxing.

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