What is a dad hat?
Type this query in the Google search bar and you get a simple answer from Elle.com, a magazine that focuses on fashion, beauty, health, and entertainment:
Simply put, a baseball cap. But not a snapback, flatbrim, or fitted. A dad hat is a baseball cap that’s canvas or cotton and has a slightly curved brim (not toocurved, though) and is probably a little oversized on the wearer. Unless, of course, you’re actually a dad—then it probably fits you perfectly.
Now Google “dad hat” and it’ll ping hundreds of sites shilling their version – and others’ – of the now-famous dad hat. Maybe it was President Obama who made them popular…again.
Click images and you get a trillion hats, one with a to-go cup of coffee, one with a diamond, another with a pineapple, and yet another with a fucking piñata on it. And these images are all miniscule. They’re the most hipster, ugly-as-shit hats you’ve ever seen.
Sites like Zumiez, Lids, Urban Outfitters (obviously), Tillys – they’ve all got dad hats, known to dads simply as, wait for it…
But I guess whichever hat I – or any dad – wear is a dad hat. And you wanna know what the most dad hat of all dad hats is? A hat that doesn’t cost you thirty-f*****g-dollars?
The hat you get when you coach your kid’s little league team. That’s the REAL dad hat!
My newest addition is well-worn and has “daddy” scrawled in red sSharpie underneath the brim and a velcro strap. That’s real.
So, to all the hipsters/imposters/wannabes, keep on forking over $25 or $30 to retailers for those canvas or cotton “dad hats” while I’ll be stepping out in the real thing once baseball season rolls back around.
Or whenever I decide to wear a hat.
Because I’m a dad who has hats. Dad hats.
(And while we’re keeping it real, kids are pretty damn expensive, so if you’re trying to be “dad cool” without actually being a dad, maybe $25, $30 ain’t so bad.)