(I was compensated for this post by Laffy Taffy and despite my penchant for their product, was not obligated to express anything but my own thoughts and experiences. Please read on to find out details on a sweet contest Parents.com and Laffy Taffy are running.)
The famous Danish comedian Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” And he had five kids. I can attest, as a dad of three, that kids definitely getting closer than the laughter Borge was referring to.
My kids will get as close as humanly possible to me for any number of reasons. They want something or maybe just want to show me affection. They’ve got a runny nose and need to wipe snot on me or maybe they’re just sad or upset.
And you know what the best elixir is for a kid who needs a laugh?
Nolan, 8, completed his last day of grammar school (K-2) yesterday and was feeling a bit nostalgic/sad/anxious to start at a new school in the fall/etc. I know he actually gets jokes, so I decided to try to cheer him up a little.
- Me: “Nolan, how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”
- N: (smirking, shrugging) “Eight?”
- Me: “Ten-tickles! Get it, they have eigh…”
- N: (hysterical laughter)
It worked, as if you expected anything less. (Oh yeah, before I forget and go down a wormhole of ridiculously awesome dad jokes, Parents and Laffy Taffy are partnering up this Father’s Day to celebrate dad jokes with a search for the best ones, your best ones. CLICK HERE and enter your best dad joke for a chance to win one of five Amazon prize packs valued at up to $2,000!)
Graham, 5, will also be attending a new school in the fall after finishing up preschool yesterday. He wasn’t sad because of that but seemed like he needed a laugh anyway. He’s chronically happy, like the happiest kid with the best (non-natural) gap-toothed smile you’ve ever seen. He prefers the good old knock-knock joke.
- ME: “Knock, knock”
- G: “Who’s there?”
- ME: “Boo.”
- G: (sheepishly giggling): “Boo who?”
- ME: “You don’t need to cry, it’s just a knock-kno…”
- G: “Knock, knock.”
- ME: (smiling) “Who’s there?”
- G: (thinking of a zinger) “Rose.”
- ME: “Rose who?”
- G: “Rosie-ro-rose-rose!” (hysterical laughter)
Not exactly a good joke by me (or him) but we made each other laugh, which is good enough for me. (Did I mention you’ve only got until June 21st to send in your favorite dad joke?)
Austin, 3, starts preschool next year and I’m not sure they know what’s about to hit them. No amount of dad jokes or knock-knock jokes can calm him when he’s angry, instead you’ve gotta play mind-reader and pick just the right thing to distract from his mood. Today that thing was the “Graham’s 5th Year” photo book Lindsay creates for each kid, each year, complete with hundreds of photos from the previous year.
- A: “Let’s read this!”
- ME: “OK”
- A: (pointing to a photo) “What’s this?”
- ME: “A splash pad.”
- A: “Can we go there?”
- ME: “It’s closed at night.”
- A: “Not yet. It’s gon be exciting!”
This continued for several photos, including Christmas, Easter, Halloween, all of which were “gon be exciting!” (Oh yeah, one last thing, if you win, your joke will be featured on Laffy Taffy wrappers, so keep them brief – set-up and punchline no more than 65 characters.)
But outside of our home, dad jokes are also alive and well, as was evidenced by a 20-minute dad jokes ONLY text conversation with my buddy John, a dad of 2. It included such knee-slappers as:
- Q: “Why can’t I be buried in the cemetery around the block from my house?” A: “I’m not dead!”
- Q: “Why’d the chicken cross the road?” A: “To get to the idiots house.” “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “The chicken.” (I know, my jaw is still on the floor from this one.)
- Q: “What do you call a fake noodle?” A: An im-pasta.”
You know what they say, iron sharpens iron.
Seriously though, SUBMIT your best G or PG-rated dad jokes by June 21 (winners will be selected and contacted by June 27 and be announced on July 3) for a chance to win one of five swagalicious Amazon prize packs worth up to $2,000 and have your joke featured on Laffy Taffy wrappers…and if you didn’t know there were jokes on the wrapper, go buy some and see for yourself!
(Other restrictions apply. All details of the contest are clearly stated on the submission links throughout this post.)